Building a profile that sounds like you, not like everyone else

Photos: show a life, not a highlight reel

• Lead with a clear, well-lit photo of your face, taken in the last year. No sunglasses, no group shot, no puzzle for the viewer to solve.
• Add one photo of you doing something you genuinely do often. It gives people a place to start a message.
• Include one full-length photo. It prevents an awkward mismatch of expectations later.
• Cut anything that needs a caption to explain who you are in it.

Four to six good photos beat nine mediocre ones. People judge a gallery by its weakest image far more than its strongest.

Words: be specific enough to be disagreed with

'I love travel, food and laughing' describes almost every adult alive. 'I will drive two hours for a decent bowl of pho and I have opinions about coriander' describes one person. Specificity is not risky — it is the entire point.

Say what you are actually looking for, too. If you want something serious, write it. The people put off by that sentence were never your match.

Refresh it every few months

Your life changes and your profile should follow. A new hobby, a new city, a shift in what you want — updating these keeps the profile honest and gives returning viewers something new to react to.