First-date safety checklist

Before you go

1. 1Have a video call first. Ten minutes confirms they match their photos and gives you a feel for their manner.
2. 2Pick the venue yourself, or agree on one you already know. Familiar ground means you know the layout, the staff and the exits.
3. 3Choose somewhere public and busy at that hour. Daytime coffee or an early-evening bar beats a late, quiet restaurant.
4. 4Arrange your own transport both ways. Never let the first date depend on their car.
5. 5Tell one specific person: who, where, when, and when you expect to be home. Send them the profile.
6. 6Agree a check-in time with that friend, and what they should do if you miss it.
7. 7Charge your phone and bring a power bank. A dead phone removes every other precaution on this list.
8. 8Keep the first date short by design — say you have something after. It is a graceful exit, not a lie you owe anyone.

What not to do before a first date

• Do not get picked up from home or share your address, however convenient it sounds.
• Do not agree to a first date at either home, a hotel, a private car or anywhere isolated.
• Do not let them change the venue at the last minute to somewhere you do not know. Offer to reschedule instead.
• Do not skip telling someone because it feels dramatic. It takes ten seconds and it is the highest-value step here.

During the date

• Watch your drink being made or poured, keep it with you, and never leave it unattended. If you lose sight of it, replace it.
• Pace alcohol deliberately. Being clear-headed is the point of the first date, not a limitation on it.
• Keep your bag, keys and phone on you rather than at the table when you step away.
• Do not share your home address, workplace or full daily routine on night one.
• Notice how they respond to a small 'no' — about another drink, about moving venues, about a photo. It is the best character sample you will get all evening.
• Check in with your friend at the agreed time. A one-word message is enough.

Leaving early is always allowed

You do not need a reason that would survive scrutiny. "I'm going to head off — thanks for meeting me" is a complete sentence. Discomfort is a sufficient reason, and so is boredom.

Guilt is the mechanism that keeps people in situations they wanted to leave twenty minutes earlier. Decide in advance that you are permitted to leave, and the decision becomes easy in the moment.

After the date

• Message your friend that you are home, even if it is late.
• Take your own transport home. Do not let them walk you to your door on a first date.
• If they behaved badly, report it through Mekora even if you simply plan to never see them again — your report protects other people.
• If they will not accept a polite no afterwards, stop replying and block. Repeated contact after a clear no is a safety matter, not a manners matter.

The one-line version

Public place, own transport, one friend told, phone charged, free to leave. Everything else on this page is detail hanging off those five things.